{"id":313,"date":"2021-09-18T07:20:24","date_gmt":"2021-09-18T07:20:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dynostorm.media\/?p=313"},"modified":"2021-09-18T07:20:27","modified_gmt":"2021-09-18T07:20:27","slug":"good-mornings-a-depressing-day-and-trying-coffee-again-17-18th-september-2021","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dynostorm.media\/index.php\/2021\/09\/18\/good-mornings-a-depressing-day-and-trying-coffee-again-17-18th-september-2021\/","title":{"rendered":"Good Mornings, A Depressing Day and trying Coffee Again &#8211; 17-18th September 2021"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Well well. Yesterday sucked, I achieved basically nothing. I just had zero energy to do anything and my mind was racing with negative thoughts. A family member visited and we thankfully had some good conversations, of course I didn&#8217;t say too much. Whenever I&#8217;m open about my darkest feelings it tends to just cause drama and hurt the people around me. Sometimes it&#8217;s difficult to know whether what I&#8217;m thinking is true or a dillusion. There&#8217;s this annoying paradox with subjective thinking where a Psychotic person may accuse their opposition of gaslighting or invalidating their viewpoint. I of course try to be objective, a lot of conclusions I stand by came in a state of soberness. That being a said, I have felt drunk with negativity so I believe I have had a swell of exaggerated at the very least views on the world. I do think the solution here is to create a lifestyle where I&#8217;m simply not isolated and I talk to people every day. Trouble is I&#8217;m so anxious, I can&#8217;t even check emails from people I know fall outside my zone of trust. You can hardly blame me for being so anxious about people when I&#8217;ve naively assumed goodness in people only to be abused in the end. It&#8217;s not a good place to be, assuming people to be hostile and dangerous but it&#8217;s the only conclusion one could come to with my history. I need to talk to my friends more and make it a habit. Here&#8217;s a list of things I could do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Get a new Part Time Job<\/li><li>Start a multiple times weekly Podcast \/ Stream (Like I used to do)<\/li><li>Actually read messages and go in without so much weight or attachment <\/li><li>Phone and Call friends on a schedule like I used to. Near daily would be good. Reunite with old friends<\/li><li>Start shooting Short Films Again, this greatly lifted my mood earlier this year<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Yesterday and This morning I have done some animation. It&#8217;s such a time consuming process, I might be losing my mind creating these. They&#8217;re way too great in a scope but whatever, maybe that&#8217;s a good thing. My idea is to do roughs and then do the finished animation upstairs where I have my big fancy tablet. Or perhaps I could bring my tablet down here. hmmm<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I tried Coffee this morning, it tasted bitter by default. I read some advice Coffee is it&#8217;s lost it&#8217;s novelty to add a sweetener, I added a very tiny amount of honey and suffice to say I actually finished the Coffee. So yeah I actually enjoyed Coffee for the first time in a while. All this panic over Coffee Intolerance, maybe I do just need to change the way I make Coffee a little bit to make it more paletable. I&#8217;ll see how this goes long term. I&#8217;ve felt way more motivated this morning. It could be like yesterday where I&#8217;m happy in the morning but become depressed during the day, I&#8217;ve got to keep trying though and try not to sweat it too much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hopefully I can keep myself energized today. I&#8217;ll do whatever I can. This animation I&#8217;m working on at the moment looks great, I hope I can share soon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Well well. Yesterday sucked, I achieved basically nothing. I just had zero energy to do anything and my mind was racing with negative thoughts. A family member visited and we thankfully had some good conversations, of course I didn&#8217;t say too much. Whenever I&#8217;m open about my darkest feelings it tends to just cause drama [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dynostorm.media\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dynostorm.media\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dynostorm.media\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dynostorm.media\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dynostorm.media\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=313"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dynostorm.media\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":314,"href":"https:\/\/dynostorm.media\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313\/revisions\/314"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dynostorm.media\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=313"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dynostorm.media\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=313"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dynostorm.media\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=313"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}