Not going to sugar coat it, my habits have all broken apart. I feel so hollow and have done this week, a lot of stresses are on my mind and I find it difficult to move forward especially now. I really want to work on Mr Rex alongside my other projects to be honest, perhaps I need to invite Mr Rex back into this. I’m definitely going to be giving that more of my attention. I NEED to make progress with Mr Rex everyday, and good progress. My life is truly nothing without Mr Rex, it’s my heart and soul. Nothing comes second to Mr Rex.
I’ve also been feeling down about my relationship prospects, I’m just so afraid of being hurt again. What I need to do is ask some irl friends on what to do. I know I can be myself around these people and they cannot be an after thought. I don’t think my family cares about me, as highly as I think of family values I cannot talk about anything with my family. They simply do not understand me, this only hurts me as they never seem to truly listen nor speak my language. I wish things were not this way but they are out of my control.
Perhaps it is wrong for me to be vulnerable like this is a blog post but I don’t feel like I have anyone else to turn to. I don’t really share my blog very much but I’m not ashamed of what I’ve written. Come to think of it, my secret project has also killed my ability to share anything that I’m doing thereby making less of an incentive to write.
Anyways today I got up very late. I didn’t really have a reason to wake up early. I was feeling completely miserable, somehow I’ve got to turn that around. Yesterday was better than I felt.
I did make progress on a rather stubborn fiverr order, I continued animating a sequence for Mr Rex’s Zealous Adventure. I also watched a film “Around the World in 80 Days (1956)”. Again I didn’t feel like doing much yesterday but I enjoyed the film very much, might be my new favourite British Empiresque Film.
My secret project is starting to get laggy in the editor because the map is getting so large. Definitely going to be more of a struggle than I first anticipated. I will get it completed though even if it’s sub-par. Or perhaps I can split the map into separate rooms. That would be very helpful. Split the map into two pieces is a good idea to be honest, the technical aspects of the game though are a bit fiddly so I’ll have to investigate further to know how to make that possible.
Watched Anime. Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood is getting really slow, the finale is actually boring and very little happens each episode. Feeling like a drag. Love is War Season 2 sucked, very little of it was actually what the show is supposed to be about. So much of it was melodrama and wasn’t funny. Takagai-san is still pretty wholesome, I’m hoping the final episode of Takagai-san season 2 is better and the relationship between them actually gets somewhere.
Controlling my mood can be tough but in hindsight, yesterday wasn’t so bad.